amandamarie

killing me softly with his song.

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09.28.05 by amandamarie, literature

Literature

09.28.05

and she's no longer that person she once felt before. sighing breathlessly as she drags her heavy feet and heavy heart along the sidewalk. trailing memories underfoot, leaving them on the dirty ground. the dead birds she passes dropping from the sky could be the only comfort she finds knowing the end is possible, a plausible solution for a mindless life. she thinks of flying. if thats worth dying for, then whats she got to look forward to? these bones are lifeless no soul resides here and craving the feeling of deep chills she walks until the cold nightsky consumes her, swallowing her into the blackness. there, she feels whole

between the lines by amandamarie, literature

Literature

between the lines

misshapen hearts scattered along these pages incorporated into my thoughts hanging on to the words like a rope books filled with dreams thoughts and hopes noticing the trend of this destruction beginning the affair between the monster and its master those silver glinted nights filled with crimson kisses on scarlet colored thighs watching yourself slowly unravel in awe of the world around losing naivety only to find yourself wishing it back discovering new dissections in the skin that wont stop leaking your life the memories of the preformance hiding in the deep fissures of your brain carressing the feelings of apathy seeing

through the depths. by amandamarie, literature

Literature

through the depths.

sweet rivers flow deep into these ancient seas of bitter red wine, filling them with this mix of blood and water and passion. our hearts collide in a way we never knew possible, and you breathe me in deep as i exhale you. the strong pull of this current knows no mercy and we fall slaves to its bubbling drive. swirling blindly into its murky depths we taunt it together by not paying attention to its howling shrill cries and threats. "let it call." we say "we need no drink, for our love is dry and raw." and on we tumble, wrapped in love's fierce glow.

for you.. by amandamarie, literature

Literature

for you..

the electric grey sky doesnt change my mood. my heart strings tug tightly as i pass by your street. my words are quick and sharp trying to protect my very poorly mended heart. i secretly build up my walls so that you cant get in but when i see you my heart fills to bursting. nothing matters anymore, all consequences escape me. just feeling too much to stop, just feeling anything at all. ..................................... something stirrs me from my sleep and i open my eyes the blackness of the room engulfs me and i am alone again. my empty bed is heartless too and im overcome by a sadness sweet memories float through me

drink deep. by amandamarie, literature

Literature

drink deep.

my sense of security is my cure for this truthfully uneasy silence. we've grown so close that we dispise our loves & each other. [so just drinkdeep] & let everything go because tonight will be the night we celebrate ourselves. this starry-eyed visitor comes by with his ale for everyone. just tell him your problems & he'll prescribe the right stuff, just for you. make it special, make it last. and just fall into the easiness of the warmth he brings.

duct-taped heart by amandamarie, literature

Literature

duct-taped heart

youre only about ten feet away & ive taught myself to not expect your acknowledgement. i know im not pretending that you're this close, cause i can still feel the stone cold floor beneath me. im sitting here with my legs crossed, my eyes filling slowly, & my duct-taped heart, [which is coming apart at the seams]. even the strongest tape cant seem to hold me together. And im sitting here watching you..... & when you catch my glance you quickly turn away, as if to deny any past relation. and you dont even notice that my heart is ready to explode, cause you dont even care.

late thoughts by amandamarie, literature

Literature

late thoughts

ive been sitting here in the dark now, its been ages since ive moved. but the life is still slowly pouring out of me. especially from my wrists, where i pressed down a little too hard. & where i forgot reality for a second too long. i geuss this is the way it has to be. feeling pain just to feel. but the feeling is so painful its almost romantic. such a twisted thought, but once i say it aloud it sounds so right. and i can always think... at least its a feeling. and at least its not the feeling that im not good enough. cause im never disappointed with the scars. if any thing. im flattered.

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make up by amandamarie, literature

m a k e u p by amandamarie, literature

Literature

m a k e u p

-make up- to cover the skin where people think is ugly and dirty the little secrets that we are not naturally this way the little hidden part that no one wants to see the small dents in a perfect image how much do you actually need to be happy and how many touch ups do you really need to make? why not just let the world see you for you without the fakeness of a non real you...

u n t i t l e d by amandamarie, literature

Literature

u n t i t l e d

feels like theres no escape from your p l a s t i c h o l d it feels so real yet the emotions arnt there why do you keep up these lies when all you want is to be touched not to feel... or be felt im sick of the unreal i want to feel and when i tell you, you turn away so how can i win. there is no way distance shouldn\'t come between life, which by you is love so what is love if its not to feel so please feel and let me be the one who touches you i need feeling back i dont want plastic i dont care for the unreal i want real.. i want you

seeing blindly by amandamarie, literature

Literature

seeing blindly

being pulled everyway never knowing what to say finding hope in all the wrong places seeking love in all the wrong faces letting go of all hopes and dreams exploding my fears into an unreal scene finding lies waiting within hurting you like i shouldnt have did once again it goes back on myself i never should believe life is lived with stealth breaking promises to ones heart dying everyday cause we\'re apart feeling sorrow and then waves of joy cannot express these love swung cries feeling helpless in a breathless love making it up it up for those.. you see the above.

u n n a m e d by amandamarie, literature

Literature

u n n a m e d

This rush of feelings fade away and soar higher, lost to the outside world. Not confessed like a sin. Sitting and waiting between the lines in the story of my life. Holding them in and facing it with fake accusations. Realizing the truth of things. The truth hurts more than lies can cause sometimes. I always wonder whats better. A deceitful truth or a constant pain. just wanting to breathe without the pressure of knowing you\'ll have to e x h a l e ...

toxic feelings by amandamarie, literature

Literature

toxic feelings

having to explain what i myself dont understand. left yourself to express, in suffocating thoughts, trying to make yourself believe. swirling swiftly through the whirlwind of opportunities. never easing the arm to let the hand wrap around one, just one thats facing you. can there ever be a real imaginary escape from the turmoil? the question being pondered by me. do i actually want this escape so much to decieve and put a mask on my problems for a while long enough to let my wounds heal. then my problems can come back worse then ever, but after time i will be ready. i just need time without worries to be had. let my mind o

i n d u l g e d by amandamarie, literature

Literature

i n d u l g e d

blissful states of mind indured.. not indured but indulged. -beautiful unthinking makes thinking beautiful- sipping away at my problems makes me feel like they have left me maybe they will help for a better solution am i asking for a end to life and sensability.. turmoil granted by wanting to let this feeling overwhelm my senses and let it all wash over me like slow unbreaking waves falling over my head and drowning my last sense of breathing. to throw it all away for this last escape setting myself up for more non real happiness memories lost, and would it all be in vain. wanting more of this without the consequences. lo

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Kurt Cobain by amandamarie, visual art

Kurt Cobain

amandamarie

About amandamarie

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Artist

Oct 7
Canada
Deviant for 20 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Current Residence: where ever
Favourite genre of music: music. no shit. [acoustics = hot]
Personal Quote: i would like to fly, i think everyone wants to fly

Favourite Movies

romeo+juliet, moulin rouge, vanilla sky, breakfastclub, royaltennenbaums, girl interrupted

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

benharper, anidifranco, mattgood, nirvana, weezer, soad, placebo, radiohead, davematthews etc etc.

Favourite Writers

those who can capture emotions in words

Tools of the Trade

everything + anything

Other Interests

music, art, poetry, photography, life

Posts

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amandamarie

Mar 28, 2005

help!!!

0 min read

im so sorry, its been forever since ive even posted a journal.. but im so uninspired.. i cant find the means to write at all. period. im just.. like this fucking void. you have no idea how frustrating this is.. ive completely lost every morsel of inspiration that used to fucking fill my every pore. someone please help.. suggest something, anything.. im desperate.. i need to write again or im going to implode soon. x.amanda

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amandamarie

Jan 5, 2005

Devious Journal Entry

0 min read

its been a while since ive submitted anything, but i geuss i havent really felt much inspiration as of lately... but ive started writing again, and painting - which its been far too long since ive done that. maybe ill submit the new piece ive been working on over christmas. x. amanda

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amandamarie

Dec 10, 2004

Untitled

0 min read

my heart feels dead... im a horrible person, and the only person i want to talk about all this to.. i cant. because it would crush him. and i couldnt live with hurting him... not again. is it true that sometimes its best not to share everything? or am i just fooling myself into taking comfort with something thats a lie.

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Profile Comments 31

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RazielOfKendermore

Jan 4, 2007

Hello, random deviant =^^=

bluebutterfly11

Nov 6, 2006

hey amanda, it's me lena

sharpiemark

Apr 9, 2006

hey there. thanks for adding me to yer friends.

crossmyheart

Jun 23, 2005

thank you for the comment = ] i'm glad you enjoyed the picture.

GREENDAYSBESTESTFAN

Apr 11, 2005

thanks for the favorite

braceletsofsmoke

Aug 20, 2004

hi! thanks so much for your comment and critique. means a lot that someone can give the good and the bad points, makes me see what i've done wrong. great for learning. dont get it really from many people. thanks

sidestepxglances

Nov 22, 2003

thank you for your comments on my poems, i appreciated them very much.